you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
