i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you have to choose: penises or morals?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
