Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
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