sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
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I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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