im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
