..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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