Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
