I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am one with the molecules
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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