Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
