So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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