You smell like stripper and shame
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize