So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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