I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
