first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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