: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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