Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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