I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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