I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
