How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
