U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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