I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
