VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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