Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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