Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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