Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
only you would photoshop your dick
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
