the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
