His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
