Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
