About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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