Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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