My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
