Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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