and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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