If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I look better un-naked...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
