When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
