Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
