look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize