WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
