Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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