There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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