I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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