He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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