thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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