He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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