why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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