Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
