He kissed a someone with a penis
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
