Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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