our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
