he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
