Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
