we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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