too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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